


comfort rests beside me at night

by phanqueray



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, and alcohol and smoking, lil existentialism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 16:25:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8497069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanqueray/pseuds/phanqueray
Summary: It’s weird how much one event can lead to certain events after it and how it’s so fun to look up the stars and how I stare and fall in love with you.(AKA dnp neighbors au lolol)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crosspolination](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crosspolination/gifts).



There were days where Dan’s apartment was peaceful. Where there would be a kettle on the kitchen counter, heating up water for his tea. Where his speakers would speak soft tones of classical, letting his brain feel at ease. His bed would be made, curtains slightly drawn. His flat would be still and quietly noisy. No one would be around, which was the best part. No one would bug him and he won’t feel obligated to entertain guests.

Today was not one of those days. 

Dan comes back to a messy flat, his productivity drained. No one is around, but that thought doesn’t help. His piano is dusty and he’s too lazy to wipe it off. His kitchen greets him with dirty dishes. 

His flat is gray, both physically and mentally. And it feels very empty.

Dan lays his backpack down on his bed and gets his laptop and earphones. It’s a cold night so he brings a coat too.

Thank god the roof is empty, no one will bother him. He wishes his luck would continue further, as today seems to have a well balanced fortune. 

He puts on his headphones and blasts whatever he randomly clicks on in his playlist. He isn’t surprised it’s Muse since they’re about half of his music taste. 

He’s under the night sky, the autumn air barely bothering him. The silence lays comfort to his shoulders, like a warm blanket during a snowstorm. If he’s being honest, nights like this usually become his favorite night. 

 

*

 

Phil doesn’t expect someone to reserve the roof today. Or any day for that matter. It wasn’t because it’s impossible to get up here, but for everyday from the past three months, he was alone. He sat at the almost end of the roof, looking up at the stars.

He wonders why he’s excited that another person is here. 

He sits next to the quite silent person. They seem to have headphones on, so Phil doesn’t bother them that much. Their face is slightly hidden so Phil can’t guess who they are. He looks up at the stars like he does every night. Somehow, it’s more silent than when he’s alone.

 

*

 

“Gah!” Dan screams, almost dropping his laptop to the concrete.

“Ah!” The person beside him screams back, jumping a bit more. He has his hands to his chest and, for a split second, his eyes seem to be in pure shock and terror. He sighs and smiles.

It’s Dan’s neighbor.

Dan feels bad for not remembering his name. They never talked; the closest thing they could have to communication is slight nods when they meet in the hallway. Even then, Dan was just being polite.

“Oh.” He says, giggling a little. 

Dan feels something tug in his stomach while looking at his smile.

“Uh.” Dan stutters.

 

*

Phil doesn’t know his neighbor’s name. He isn’t surprised though, since they never really talked. They did bump into each other in the convenience store across the block. All they really did was smile and nod at the other’s way.

He smiles a little wider.

“Did you come here to stare at the stars?” 

His neighbor’s voice surprised him. He has never heard it but it is nice. It has the soothing tones of a lullaby. 

He stares as the boy beside him looks up the sky. The stars illuminated his eyes a bit. It comforted Phil for an unknown reason.

“Yeah.” Phil breathes out. “By the way, I’m Phil.”

He extends his arm to the boy. The boy smiles.

“Dan.”

Phil wonders if it’s short for another name. Daniel, maybe? Like how Phil is to Phillip? He asks it anyway and turns out he’s right.

 

**

 

Phil went up to the roof at 7 pm and comes down to his flat at 12 am. He doesn’t usually come down this late, but his talkative mouth won’t stop hitting Dan with questions. He has a little feeling in his stomach that he’s a bother.

He shakes the thought off while doing the same to his coat. He takes off his shoes too, leaving them in his genkan. For some reason, his apartment in London has one. He puts on slippers and sighs.

Susan purrs at his leg affectionately. He carries her up and places her on his bed. 

His mind is very empty while doing his night routine. He just focuses on what he’s doing and push aside any feelings. His thoughts swim back to his mind when he’s in bed; most of them about Dan. Will he even go back up tomorrow night? 

Dan does, for every night until Phil loses count. Every time they meet, they talk about nothing, about pointless things to ponder below the night sky. Dan’s always there first and Phil can only follow. It’s weird not to be alone.

 

*

 

Work’s shit. Dan’s boss has been giving him an amount for him to work overtime. And he does, sadly. He just hopes Phil isn’t waiting for him or else he’ll be disappointed.

Making Phil upset, Dan doesn’t like that thought. He can’t text Phil because he doesn’t have his number or any social media. Dan’s been only seeing Phil in real life, which is strange since Dan spent most of his free time online. Now he spends it with Phil or with thoughts of Phil. 

His presence felt like a storm, and Dan loved the rain.

“Daniel?” His boss’ voice is threatening. “Are you doing your work?”

Dan’s voice almost cracks when he musters up a reply.

Unlike the rooftop or his own flat, the office is suffocating, full of people that criticise him or act so uptight and annoying. Sure, they’re higher in position, but they don’t need to be an asshole about it.

Dan feels so weird in the suit he’s wearing. It feels wrongly uncomfortable, like it’s another version of him that he wears to (try to) impress people at work, especially his boss. 

He just focuses on focusing, since that’s all he’s allowed to really do. Someone interrupting his train of thought is the most annoying thing he’s ever experienced. It’d suck if that happened now, when he’s excessively stressed out.

Phil keeps flooding back, though. It feels like Dan plunged into an ocean of thoughts dedicated to him. And he can’t swim.

He sighs, and looks at the piles of paper stacked on his desk. His hand is in pain. He keeps shaking his leg. Is he this restless to meet Phil?

 

*

 

Phil is a bit worried that Dan isn’t here yet. It’s been an hour since he’s been here. It’s weird to be alone when company had been abundant. 

 

*

 

Dan rushes to get home. It’s already 9 pm and he’s panicking. He hopes Phil doesn’t feel alone. Deep behind his racing thoughts, he hopes Phil left already. It’s likely that he stayed, as Dan learned earlier that he comes every night because of the stars. 

Phil’s very enthusiastic about the universe. Dan always hated thinking about it, since it’s infinitely huge and he’s tiny. He knows that everything he does is meaningless. He knows that they’re destined to oblivion and nothingness and those things make his stomach turn inside out. He doesn’t even want to think about it right now, during a taxi ride back home. But the universe reminds him too much about Phil and Phil reminds him about his existence.

He gets to the elevator and presses the button at the very top. He’s surprised when the doors slide opens and Phil is sat alone. It’s more surprising to see that there’s smoke coming from his lips. It takes Dan a second to realize what’s actually happening and it’s not that Phil’s lips are on fire.

 

*

 

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Dan’s voice makes him jump slightly.

Phil stares at his cigarette as Dan sits beside him. It feels like a reverse deja vu, when Phil accidentally scared Dan when they first met. He lets out the smoke from his mouth.

“Sorry.” He replies.

“No need to be. You opened a pathway to our conversation--”

“You’re so pretentious.”

“--why do you smoke?”

Phil stares up the sky. He puffs out a cloud of nicotine before replying. “I stopped for a while. I only smoked because I was stressed. I honestly just found a pack in my coat and I couldn’t help myself.”

“Let me look at it.”

Phil gives the pack to him. Dan throws it to the streets below.

Phil sighs and smiles. “Thank you.”

“I don’t want you to harm your health.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

Phil giggles, before pushing the cigarette butt to the ground.

What did he do here before? His memories are fading. 

They stare at the night sky in silence, looking at the buildings as they fade into darkness. 

City lights are contributors to light pollution. They destroy the cycles of heavenly bodies. They’re too bright to look at and Phil can’t see the stars with them. 

He wonders why the fuck they made Dan look pretty.

“Dan.”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go grocery shopping tomorrow. I’m running out of things to eat.”

Silence makes Phil’s heart melt. He feels like his brain is going to explode because of a reason he’s not sure about.

“Sure.”

Phil’s heart revives. His brain stays together for now.

 

**

 

Phil has no idea why he and Dan are hanging out together in New Year's Eve.

He’s also clueless as to why they’re on the roof instead of the party downstairs. 

And he’s oblivious to the reason they’re holding hands.

“It’s almost midnight.” Dan says.

“Yeah,” Phil replies absentmindedly.

And then it’s midnight and there are loud fireworks everywhere and people are screaming and suddenly Phil’s looking at Dan.

The lights of the fireworks explode in Dan’s face in the most angelic way possible. And he’s like a dream engulfed in clouds. And he’s so beautifully painted and he deserves to be in art museums. And his existence makes Phil so happy. 

And Phil realizes that he’s not going up the roof for the stars anymore.

  
  


*

 

“I’m going down to the party,” Phil says.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you down later.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

When it’s been an hour later, so Dan leaves the roof and fetches Phil.

The ground floor is very crowded with people, dancing, drunk, kissing, or all of the above. Dan doesn’t like parties, or socializing in general. He’s just here to get his friend, Phil Lester. Nothing else.

God, it’s so crowded and noisy.

He stops his tracks when Phil’s voice pierces through the crowd.

“Daaaaannnnnyyyy!”

“Phil?” Dan turns around and is greeted with Phil being slumped on his shoulders. “You’re drunk.”

A smile reaches Phil’s lips and he giggles. He giggles so much that Dan feels like giggling too, which is stupid.

“God, I’m getting you back to your flat.”

“Huuuuh?”

His speech is dragged across the floor and it manages to seep into Dan’s mind anyway. It’s like covered in honey and wrapped like a Christmas present. Dan suddenly feels like an 5 year old blowing his candles for the first time.

He grabs Phil’s hand and they head to the elevator. When the doors open up to their floor, Dan has to haul Phil on his back because Phil keeps requesting it. They arrive on his front door and Dan gets Phil’s key in his pocket.

“How did ya know that?” Phil says, sounding very tired.

“You just told me, Phil.” Dan smiles at how silly Phil is when drunk.

“Your smile is very pruuty” Phil giggles before hiccuping. He giggles a lot more.

“Thanks,” Dan’s cheeks feel hot. God dammit.

“Put off my shoes and also yours, hehe.” 

So Dan does.

He sets Phil down at his bed and begins to walk away before Phil stops him. 

“Don’t gooooo! I’ll be so alone here.”

Dan feels something purring on his leg. Phil never mentioned he has a cat.

“You’ll have, uh, your cat--”

“Susan isn’t enough!” Phil pouts.

“Well,” Dan scratches the back of his head while turning to face Phil. He wraps his mind on the pointless fact that Phil has a cat named Susan. “I guess I can stay.”

Phil’s eyes light up immediately and pats the side of his bed invitingly. Dan sighs and lies down next to him.

“I love you.” Dan’s mouth is a blabbering mess who can’t shut up. He blushes so much and he grips his coat to let out the loud thoughts in his head. Why the fuck would he say that? Obviously, Phil won’t remember this. Dan does love Phil, in every way but platonically. 

But he’s so afraid that Phil doesn’t love him back.

 

It’s 3 am and Dan hasn’t had a shut eye. 

Phil’s sleeping next to him, though. He’s so quiet and the moonlight hits him softly. Dan keeps staring and then he looks up to see glow-in-the-dark star stickers stuck to Phil’s bedroom ceiling. He wonders if Phil actually loves the stars that much. He tries to find the constellations in the DIY night sky.

Susan purrs on his lap as he thinks.

 

*

 

Phil wakes up with a fucking headache. He blinks, once, twice, until his vision is finally cleared. He realizes that he’s in last night’s clothes. Did Dan bring him back? He was drunk and Dan saw him in such an embarrassing state.

He finds a Pokemon sticky note on the nightstand.

“I’m making breakfast, if you don’t mind. You seemed so into sleeping last night so I barely moved from your bed. I hope sober you would understand. - Dan”

Fuck.

Phil invited Dan to bed last night, while drunk. Phil covers his face in pure horror and shame because he just realized his feeling last night and he suddenly does this shit. His stomach turns as he slowly acknowledges that Dan is in the kitchen, cooking food for him, with the groceries they shopped together.

Christ.

“Oh, you’re awake!” Dan’s head peers from his bedroom door. “I made breakfast.”

“I read.”

“Oh, yeah,” Dan’s face splits into a huge smile. “Those Pokemon sticky notes are pretty cool!”

“Oh my god,” Phil hides in his blanket. “If you want, let’s go to Japan so you can get one.”

“Sounds good, it’ll be like a honeymoon.”

Phil just felt his heart explode like the fireworks last night.

 

*

 

“So Dan,” Phil perks up a conversation halfway through breakfast.

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to go to the diner across the street later?”

“That sounds like a date.”

“It might be.”

Dan stops his fork’s path towards his mouth and feels his cheeks redden. “Do you remember anything that happened last night?”

Phil shakes his head. “Why?”

“I told you I love you.”

 

*

 

Oh.

 

*

 

“Well,” Phil bites his lip. “I love you too.”

“I mean, like, not as friends.”

“Yeah, I know. And I love you too.”

 

**

 

Dan wakes up with the sun shining from his bedroom window and the Happy Birthday song ringing from Phil’s flat. He seemed to have pressed his speaker against the wall so only Dan could hear it. Dan really hates it. He buries his head into his pillow and sighs. He wants to sleep further.

His phone rings.

Phil laughs on the other line. “Happy Birthday Dan!”

“Fuck off.” Dan replies.

“Just go outside already.”

“Fine.”

 

*

 

“Happy Birthday!” Phil screams it from the top of his lungs and smacks his lips onto Dan’s lips when Dan finally seeped in what Phil had put together. There is a disco and balloons and streamers all around and Phil is kissing Dan.

When they first kissed, Dan felt and tasted like cotton candy. And fireworks. And absolute redamancy.

When they created space between them, Phil smiles.

“I fucking love you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Phil loves the taste of Dan’s smile in his lips. “Just a tip, if you ever propose to me, reserve a whole restaurant for me.”

Dan blushes. “Fuck off.”

 

*

 

They finally move in together.

Dan thought he’d drown in the flooding thoughts of Phil, but Phil himself had dragged him to shore. There is no need to think about Phil when Phil’s been in front of him this whole time. Dan’s so grateful.

Phil is the home he didn’t think he deserves.

“Jesus Daniel.” His boss drags him (forcibly) out of his thoughts. “You need to shape up if you want to survive in this company. You keep slacking off.” 

“Yeah, I know.”

“Then act like it.”

Sadly, Phil can’t love Dan’s stress away. He’s been so overwhelmed with work. Sure, being an assistant in a corporate heir paid well but Mr. Ryu would not cut him off some slack. Phil relaxed him the littlest bit. 

“God dammit.” Dan says, swallowing a lump that formed in his throat without permission.

 

*

 

Dan comes home crying. And he’s greeted by a hug from Phil. Phil sprints from the kitchen to the door when Dan breaks down while trying to remove his shoes from the genkan. Phil hugs him from behind, the squeeze that Dan probably longed for. 

“I hate work.” Dan says, tears forming so rapidly and falling at the same rate. “I hate it so much.”

“I told you to find another one.”

“It’s not that easy, Phil.”

“I know but I can’t bear seeing you look so hopeless.”

“Phil,”

“I’ll help you.”

“That makes it sound so easy.”

“That’s nice.”

“Everything at work is so hectic. I feel like I’m trapped in a void. I forgot my ambition and--”

“What?” Phil asks, squeezing him tighter. Dan always cuts his sentences short because he catches himself saying something he doesn’t want someone to hear.

“I-I’m afraid of being alone.”

“In the dark?”

Dan laughs, making Phil hug his shoulders tighter and kiss his neck. “I wish. But if you ever leave me, I’ll be alone. I’ll just be another speck in the universe who doesn’t impact someone else.”

“You’ve impacted me enough for me to stay with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

 

*

 

Dan bites his lips and tilts his head back, resting on Phil’s shoulder. He stares up at their ceiling, looking for constellations and answers.

“Why do you care so much about me?” Dan asks insecurely.

“Because you’re incredible.”

 

*

 

_ And you’re a piece of poetry that nobody can ever write. And you’re the reason why plants grow and stars shine and the world is uniquely beautiful. Because I love you and you love me back. _

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

If Dan was a word, he’d be a synonym for soft.

“Thank you.” Dan whispers.

 

**

 

Dan is a nervous wreck. He’s sweating and checking himself on the mirror every two seconds. Phil will come here in any moment and Dan can’t wait. He already set up a table on the roof and put candles and keeps checking his pocket to see if it’s still there, like an inanimate object can run away from him.

The elevator doors slide open to a Phil Lester (soon to be Howell-Lester or Lester-Howell, whatever he wants) in a very fancy suit. He looks happy and confused at the same time, especially when he sees a table.

Dan shrugs. “I couldn’t reserve an entire restaurant for us, sorry.”

“Wait,” Phil takes a second. “Holy shi--”

“Phil Lester, “Dan smiles and gets the ring from his pocket. “Will you make me the happiest person alive?”

Phil snaches the ring and tackles Dan to the ground, laughing, saying I love you over and over again before finally saying, “Of course, you idiot.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it :D!!


End file.
